Thursday, November 8, 2007

Gabbing with God



Its 2am and I'm lying in bed. Awake. Sort of. The internal debate of whether to give up altogether and get up or to turn over and try again continues. Its warm and cosy. Turning over wins. Eventually,I'm drifting and flowing over paths and fields, feeling the warmth and numbness of weightlessness when I hear

"Rise, Rise, are you awake?"... he whispered.

"I am. Now." I mumble. "Why are you here, at this ungodly hour? What is SO important that it can't wait until tomorrow?"

"Oh, it CAN wait, if you like, but, I just thought I'd drop by and see how you were doing .... we haven't had much chat lately ... you're busy with your life and I have the usual million and one things to be doing ...but, lately, the silence from your end is deafening, if you don't mind me saying so. I feel a little neglected. So, is it O.K. to talk now? Its nice and quiet."

"What do you mean, the 'silence if deafening'? I've been storming your gates, leaving messages, calling around for the last 2 weeks and you're NEVER there. All I get is that incessant answering machine... by the way, you REALLY should change your message ... its starting to get a bit OLD. And as for that housekeeper you have .... you should get on to the Agency and get them to find you someone who can actually communicate with other human beings .... And as for feeling neglected 'Join the Club' oh mighty one."

"The housekeeper does her best. What else would you have her do? And why are you so cranky, anyway? Whats eating you?"

"I'm not cranky ...I'm just very cross with you. I don't like the way you're running things. I think you just don't care anymore. I wish you were nicer sometimes. Kinder, even. You know, you do have a reputation to live up to .. All loving, all merciful ... And why aren't you like the pictures the nuns gave us ... for Heavens sake, you don't even have a beard ... all the REALLY kind deities have big, white beards."

"Hmm ...And what about my clothes? Do you think, should I get new sandals? New Levis maybe? Whats this preoccupation with my appearance, anyway .. you never used to care before?"

"I DON'T CARE ...I couldn't give a rats ass if you go go around looking like a Ninja Turtle on speed .... but could you please TRY to be nicer? Can you lift the gloom that hangs over so many people's lives? Can you persuade people to behave like REAL human beings? Can you stop the appalling atrocities that happen thousands of times a day, every day? Can you put an end to man's inhumanity to his fellow man? Can you? Huh? Huh? Don't answer that. Yes, I know you can. But you won't. Free will, yeah, yeah, I know."

"Ah Rise, this isn't like you ... what has happened? Why SO impatient? I've told you before, hundreds of times, I can't just march in like Major General Fixitall and read everyone the riot act. It doesn't work like that. Sure, I can help, but not always immediately or in the way that you think I should. You DO know that I have a PLAN, don't you? And you DO trust me, don't you? Or are you so cranky and contrary that you don't want to know anything at all? Maybe, I should call back at another time?"

"No, don't go just yet. I'll be civilised, I promise. I just need to hear the plan again and maybe a song, just for the crankiness, you understand ... you know the one ... Hop in here beside me, its lovely and warm .... Oh for God's sake, take the bloody sandals off first."

GB slept the sleep of the brave, bless him.


photo credit: www.art.com

6 comments:

Lee said...

Strange bedfellows?

sMC said...

Are you related to Dave Allen. You do seem to have a similar religous humour which makes The Hot Line to Heaven all the more
for real. The wee small hours of the morning are always the best for sorting out one's soul. Thats when I do it. Although I don't go to bed first. Once in bed out like a light.

Molly said...

Could you send Him this way when you're done? There are a few things I'd like to quiz Him about......although I'm sure he'd tell me it's all in the plan.....

Where are all your fans? Don't they know what they're missing?? Keep it up Little blister....Only 21 more "sleeps"....You ARE sleeping , aren't you?

Pauline said...

There's a PLAN? Well, huh -

sMC said...

let me in on the Plan please.
Whats this 21 more sleeps please I love count downs.

heartinsanfrancisco said...

I LOVE this! Sometimes I think that God doesn't believe in me, and then something happens to prove me wrong. Happily.

It's just so hard sometimes having to share him with so many millions of other people.

Wouldn't it be great to be God's only child? Oh, wait...